January 30, 2009

Evan Rachel Wood Only Likes Pretty Boys

Evan Rachel Wood at the Screen Actors Guild Awards

The girl really picks the hotties doesn’t she?

After breaking up with ladies man, 40 years old, Marilyn Manson, last November, 21 year old Evan Rachel Wood decided she needed someone with a really pretty face and even more maturity, enter 56 year old Mickey Rourke, her co-star from movie “The Wrestler” in which Evan plays Rourke’s daughter.

Rourke, who possesses a face that only his mother, and nobody else’s, could love, has been primed since his movie comeback for some serious lovin and was hoping like crazy that sexy time could be had with Ms Wood.

The pair have been romantically linked since their movie wrapped and they started the promotional tour. Looking rather cosy during the award season has caused obvious speculation as to the nature of their relationship, with Woods having to continually deny the rumours.

The latest, however, is that the pair were seen snogging at the Screen Actors Guild After Party at the Shrine on January 25th and were later seen leaving together for the ritzy Four Seasons Hotel, favoured spot of many a celebrity fling, where they were spotted kissing again.

Naturally the story has spread like wildfire, causing some distress to Ms Wood (understandably so). She was quick to quell the rumours, telling Rolling Stone magazine,

"I’m upset because I feel disrespected by the press and by Mr. Rourke," she said. "Just because I’m single doesn’t mean that you can take advantage of me. It’s unfair that the performances might suffer because of all of these distractions."

And regarding her alleged affair with Mr. Rourke, Wood says, "I'm not attracted to him, he's too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will."

Ouch...

Her words must have been like a punch in Rourke’s stomach. Not attractive? Too old? Come on what’s not to love?

We look forward to seeing which stunning man or possibly grandpa, Evan picks next to be her boyfriend.

January 28, 2009

The Jolie-Pitt Posse on Display In Japan

Brad Pitt And Knox in matching berets In Narita Airport

The Jolie-Pitts arrived en masse in Japan early Tuesday morning and struggled to get their brood of six through Narita airport.

Naturally they caused a spectacle, not because of the size and beauty of their rainbow family though that alone was enough to cause traffic in the airport but because they were trailed by a massive pack of paparazzi all vying for that money shot.

Flash bulbs went off in every direction and the gathering crowd was temporarily blinded, or was it just due to the Jolie-Pitt’s gorgeousness.

This was the first time we were able to view the whole clan in one place and their beauty was too much for mere mortals.

The twins, Vivienne and Knox were so delightful and pleasing to the eye, but then again what could we expect from this family of exquisite saints. Knox wore an adorable matching beret just like his dad and was almost as good looking. Both twins had the same dear in the headlights expression on their faces because they were scared shitless by all the press around them.

The family arrived in Japan for the premiere of Brad's latest film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” Pitt has been promoting this movie since like eternity, so he will be glad when the Oscars are finished so he can put Mr Button to bed.

They are due to return to the US in time for the Academy Awards, where both have been nominated for Best Acting Oscars and no doubt will steal the show even if they don't go home with an award.

Is Joaquin Phoenix A Bona Fide Gangsta?

Joaquin Phoenix keepin it real at LAVO nightclub inside The Palazzo in Las Vegas, Nevada

As much as there has been recent speculation that Joaquin Phoenix is faking his own career change as a newly minted rap star, the latest is he is the real deal.

Ok you have to admit you can’t blame anyone for thinking the whole transition thing into wanting to be a rap star was a sham, come on, the dude is a joke. Check out his embarrassing performance in Las Vegas.

But according to his rep, Susan Patricola, he is deadly serious about it. She says the actor’s move into hip hop is not a well crafted hoax but very real.

Patricola fired off an email to MTV stating “The transition from one career to another is never seamless. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Joaquin came from a musical family, in addition to winning a Golden Globe for his portrayal of Johnny Cash,” “He intends on exploring his musical interests despite speculative, negative or positive reactions.”

However, is she in on the joke too?

EW.com’s Hollywood Insider says Phoenix along with his brother in law, Casey Affleck, is not only playing an elaborate prank on the media, but his publicists are in on the scam too.

EW.com quotes sources close to the star as saying, "He said, 'It's a put-on. I'm going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it.'"

"It's an art project for him. He's going full out. He probably has told his reps that he's quit acting. "Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control."

Hmm, interesting, if it’s a hoax, it’s a damn fine one. Maybe there’s more to Joaquin than we thought?

One thing’s for sure, either Phoenix is going to have the shortest career as a rap star or we are going to get our dumbasses punked for believing this shit.

January 27, 2009

Let’s Throw A Pity Party for Brad Pitt

Brad & Angelina in a boring dress at the Screen Actors Guild Awards


Poor old Brad Pitt.

It must be terribly hard ambling down all those countless red carpets with the most beautiful woman in the world i.e. Angelina Jolie, dangling from his arm, being paid twenty million per blockbuster movie, having six gorgeously stunning children, a string of multi-million dollar homes around the world, a jet setting lifestyle and then, god forbid, having to actually answer idiotic questions by irritatingly stupid entertainment reporters on the red carpet such as “what colour underpants are you wearing today?”

Yeah life’s a bitch.

And it’s even more of a bitch when you are one half of the most famous couples on earth, Brangelina, and possess higher powers than mere mortals, so dumb questions really insult your intelligence.

In an interview with Newsweek recently, Pitt complained of the perils he faced with being an A list celebrity at the top of his game, namely, how answering a few questions on the red carpet was excruciating and wasn’t “what he signed up for."

He told Newsweek, "This publicity machine is out of control. It's everything we didn't sign up for." "There's this whole other entity that you get sucked into. You have to go and sell your wares.” "It's something I never made my peace with." "Somehow you're not supporting your film if you don't get on a show and talk about your personal life.” "It has nothing to do with why I do this," he whinged.

Is it really that hard for Brad to do a bit of promotion for a movie that he believes in and that he is getting paid so much money for? Surely, it’s the least he could do without grumbling.

Could it be so stressful to answer a minute’s worth of questions, even if slightly personal, on the red carpet, before attending an award show and a number of sumptuous after parties where he and other Hollywood A listers are fawned over with champagne and caviar?

It does sound awfully exhausting.

Yes the general public are fascinated in Pitt’s relationship with Angelina Jolie, but can you blame them?

The couple’s faces are plastered in magazines constantly. If Pitt didn’t sign up for it, why did he personally choose to photograph a very private yet revealing number of shots of Angelina and his children for a massive spread in W magazine that was sold in large quantities all over the world last year? Why did Pitt continually discuss his love triangle with Jolie and ex wife, Jennifer Aniston, in numerous interviews during the year? Why are Pitt & Jolie so high profile wherever they go in the world and appear in the media on a near daily basis, even when they aren’t promoting a movie?

If Pitt really wanted to be less exposed, it’s totally possible, it’s totally his choice. Just say no.

Perhaps stop whining Brad, because if you don’t want to do it, I am sure there are countless people who would be more than willing to swap places with you and “sell their wares."

January 26, 2009

Baz Still Loves Nicole Kidman After All

Nicole loves Baz

Oh it’s an absolute relief to know that Nicole Kidman can still count on Baz Luhrmann as a friend, even though it was reported that she allegedly helped to sabotage the success of her movie “Australia” by saying she didn’t like her work in the film whilst the movie was still doing the PR rounds.

Mind you around the same time, Baz had also declared to the world that he couldn’t work with Nicole again as she was totally highly strung or something to that effect. So guess it was a case of tit for tat for both parties.

But all seemed to be forgiven last Friday night, when they both appeared together, hugging and smiling, at the Waldorf Astoria in New York for a dinner, where Nicole paid tribute to Baz, presenting him with the Excellence in the Arts Award.


Baz was being honoured for his contributions to the Australian Film Industry at the dinner which was part of the G’Day USA Australia Week celebrating everything Australian.

Nicole chose the event to come out of hiding since an overwhelming amount of negative reviews of “Australia” mainly directed at her performance, had forced her to go undercover at her Nashville home where she could cry into her pillow undisturbed.

Showing off long strawberry blonde hair extensions and wearing a black satin dress with thigh high split, Nicole looked nervous and pensive, although that could just be due to her botox.


Her speech for Baz had to ofcourse feature herself because let’s face it, she’s not really eager to promote or speak highly of anyone else and Nicole really wanted to reignite the fires of interest in her personal life to the gathered crowd.

She said “Four years ago I was honoured at a similar event in Los Angeles and a young musician, very talented musician was being honoured that night too, and I had never heard of him,” Kidman said. “Now I have heard of him and I have to say I owe a lot to this event.”

Yeah whatever, I thought we were honouring Baz?

Nicole may be taking baby steps into the big bad world to test the press and public reaction as no doubt she will have to come out of hiding at some stage soon once her next movie “Nine” is ready for promotion.

Let’s hope for Nicole’s sake she likes her performance in her next movie, or more to the point, let’s hope we do.

January 22, 2009

Let’s Give It Up for Heath Ledger

Three cheers for Heath

It’s been a year to the day that Heath Ledger passed away and though perhaps he might easily have disappeared from our thoughts, he refused to, thanks to his brilliant performance in The Dark Knight and his remarkable and unique portrayal as the Joker being embedded in our minds forever.

And now as a fitting tribute, the Academy Award committee has given Heath a Best Supporting Actor nomination for his work in The Dark Knight and most deservedly so.

If Heath Ledger does win the Best Supporting Actor award, it will be only the second time in history that an Oscar has been won posthumously for acting and the victory will be a bittersweet moment for his family, his fans and for all watching.

It’s heartbreaking, not just because Ledger was one of Australia’s finest actors as well as a grounded, gorgeous person but because he was so very young at twenty eight years old with so much promise ahead of him. He leaves an outstanding film legacy of performances that are raw, honest and show someone who was remarkably brave with their film choices.

His fearlessness will stand the test of time.

At the Oscars on Feb 22nd, if they do announce Heath Ledger as the winner of the Best Supporting Actor, let’s raise our glasses to the man and his work.

Here’s to you Heath!

Check out some of Heath's great work, below.

Oscar Nominations Revealed At Last

2009 Oscar Nomination Announcement for Best Actor

The Oscar nominations were unveiled early this morning in Beverly Hills by Forest Whitaker and Academy Awards President, Sid Ganis.

The announcement was delayed two days due to the Inauguration and the hold up had Hollywood on its toes with anticipation.

The stars were up early, eagerly waiting to find out just who had made the cut. Because everyone in Hollywood knows, that list is more important than life itself.


The results of the nominations were mostly predictable with a few controversial moves and snubs.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button scooped the nominations pool with a total of 13 all up, followed closely by Slumdog Millionaire with 10 nominations and Milk with eight.

The top five films nominated for Best Picture are Slumdog Millionaire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk and The Reader.

The Dark Knight was sadly overlooked for Best Picture as was Revolutionary Road for both Best Picture and in the acting stakes for Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio, even though the film made a showing at the precursor awards leading up to the Oscar nominations.

Both Brad Pitt and sweetheart, Angelina Jolie made it into their respective Best Acting categories which is totally adorable and will no doubt please many photographers on the red carpet looking for the money shot, not to mention ensuring the Oscars is a high ratings TV show by plastering Brangelina’s expensive mugs on screen at any given moment. They are both up against stiff competition in their categories though and it will be an unpredicted win if either manages to grab an Oscar.

Heath Ledger received a Best Supporting Actor nod posthumously for The Dark Knight and goes up against heavyweights, Josh Brolin, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robert Downing Jnr and a surprising fifth spot going to Michael Shannon for Revolutionary Road pushing out Dev Patel for Slumdog.

Penelope Cruz heads up the Best Supporting Actress nomination list alongside Amy Adams, Viola Davis, Taraji P Henson and Marisa Tomei with Penelope being the odds on favourite and overdue for an Oscar win.

Circle February 22nd in your diary for the big day. Oscar list of main category nominations are:

BEST PICTURE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

BEST DIRECTOR
David Fincher, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Ron Howard, Frost/Nixon
Gus Van Sant, Milk
Stephen Daldry, The Reader
Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, Doubt
Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis, Doubt
Taraji P Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Josh Brolin, Milk
Robert Downey Jr, Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road

BEST ACTRESS
Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
Melissa Leo, Frozen River
Meryl Streep, Doubt
Kate Winslet, The Reader

BEST ACTOR
Sean Penn, Milk
Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
Richard Jenkins, The Visitor

January 21, 2009

Joaquin Phoenix Is A Total Phat Rap Meister

Guess who's under the dark glasses and fuzzy beard?! It's Joaquin Phoenix!



Joaquin Phoenix is rediscovering his musical form now that he has given up all that stupid futile shit like acting and being an Oscar nominee and is able to focus entirely on his true love – hip hop.

Phoenix is determined to make it big as a funky rapper even bumping up the PR spin to promote his ass. He told
People magazine recently just how serious he was:-

"This is me saying this is who I am. This is my story. After all the years of reading scripts and reading lines, this is my chance to do something straight from the heart and put it out there. When I was young I liked punk rock music but then I discovered rap. I love the storytelling aspect of hip-hop. Are there people out there who think I'm a joke? I'm sure there will be." Are there people who think it's going to suck? Probably, but I can’t worry about that."

Joaquin is so motivated about his new badass form that he is getting brother in law, good friend and fellow Oscar nominee, Casey Affleck to film and document the rise of the Phoenix’s rap career because you know it’s going to be awesome. These two have got to be joking, right?

Joaquin headed down to Vegas club LAVO with Casey in tow on the weekend to perform some fine rhymes and show the world his moves. When he arrived on stage, the audience gasped in awe because the man was ahead of his time, singlehandedly redefining the classic MC attire.

Gone were the chunky gold chains, the jeans hanging down around the knees and the backward cap. Oh no, that’s way too ole skool for Joaquin. He chose his clothes carefully, one woolly hat with holes in it that he found in the gutter - check, one saggy, smelly pair of grey pants - check, a comfy, cosy cable knit jumper - check and an unruly Grizzly Adams beard completed the look.

Yeah he’s looked damn fly for a white guy but then again it could have been a homeless man on stage. And just how was the man’s form on the mic? C’mon – it was lame, but to be fair he threw in a few moves, waved his hands around listlessly and at one stage fell off the stage – too cool.


Ok that may sound harsh, but take a look at the dude on stage. If he wasn’t an actor who once had some chops, would anyone be even listening? You decide.

Watch the man do his poetry, this is the essence of the Phoenix. The true Rap Aficionado coming at ya live and direct.

The Phoenix Raps Part 1

The Phoenix Raps Part 2

January 19, 2009

Jeremy Piven’s Fishy Illness – Aint Nobody Buying It

Jeremy Piven at The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards

Amazingly, the producers of “Speed The Plow,” the Broadway show that Jeremy Piven was starring in last year, don’t seem to believe the mercury poisoning story as the reason that he had to bow out of the production less than two months after it opened.

In fact they have gone so far as to file an official grievance with Actors’ Equity, against Piven to show just how much they don’t believe him.

In a statement, one of the show's producers, Jeffrey Richards, announced, "The producers of Speed The Plow have officially filed a grievance with Actors' Equity re: Jeremy Piven's departure. A date for these proceedings is to be determined."

Piven left the show just before Christmas, claiming he was suffering from mercury poisoning due to the large amounts of sushi he had apparently been stuffing down his throat continually at all hours of the day for many years.

He allegedly had six times the levels of mercury found in a normal person and as the illness left him with acute exhaustion, he wasn’t able to lift a finger let alone carry on with his role for the run of the production. However, he was able to continue partying till the break of dawn which brought on no acute exhaustion.

The story has now got so out of hand that Piven has been forced to defend his fishy claims by appearing on Good Morning America for a grilling by Diane Sawyer. (see footage below)

His rep also issued a statement about the Speed The Plow producers grievances saying "The claims made by the producers of Speed-the-Plow are absurd and outrageous. Mr. Piven's serious medical condition has been well documented by multiple physicians. He withdrew from the play due to medical necessity on the advice of his doctors, after he was hospitalized and warned by his physicians that enforced rest was necessary in order to avoid serious medical problems, including a heart attack.”

Since the theatre debacle, Piven has been diligent in undergoing treatment by following the doctor’s orders closely and taking his “enforced rest” at various parties after his abandonment of Broadway.

To read full story, click TMZ.

January 18, 2009

Is Jennifer Aniston Playing John Mayer Out?

Is Jennifer Aniston a player?

If the answer's yes, then it would serve the douchebag right for his previous misdemeanours to womanhood.

It seems that Jennifer Aniston was spotted sneakily creeping out the back door of Chateau Marmont last week, (hangout of more obvious bad girl types; Lyndsay Lohan, Sienna Miller and Paris Hilton), with a gorgeous man in tow, who was holding Ms Aniston tightly as if his life depended on it and helping her to navigate through the horde of spying nosey bodies who were openly gawking at the pair.

By all accounts her hot companion was way better looking and better behaved than Mayer. Witnesses described him as “taller, darker and handsomer,” and he appeared a lot more protective, shielding Aniston from the pushy peeps as they made their way to the safety of their awaiting limo.

For Aniston’s part, the same witnesses said she was looking "absolutely radiant and ravishing”.

Is Jen playing John Mayer out or is she just ensuring that he proposes to her on her upcoming 40th birthday?

Let's see how this saga pans out as 2009 progresses.

Madonna Receives Sacred Kiss From Jesus

Jesus and Madonna

Well she probably ordered him to kiss her but at least it gives us a sneak peek at one of the first shots of Madonna & Jesus Luz together and about to perform some holy tongue hockey.

Note Madonna’s gloved hand pushing Jesus towards her in case he had second thoughts. She is pretty damn strong with those muscular arms so he had no way of escaping her clutches. The Material Girl likes to be in total control during escapades with the opposite sex and as she felt spiritually connected to Jesus, she was determined that they would come together in blessed union.

This initial image is part of a shoot that photographer and long time friend of Madonna, Steven Klein, had been photographing for W magazine of Madge whilst in Rio De Jeneiro.

Brazilian, Jesus Luz, 20 had been hired as one of the models for the shoot and Madonna was allegedly so swept up in lust the first time she eyeballed Jesus’ gorgeous hunkiness that she promptly asked him to accompany her on her Sticky & Sweet tour throughout Sao Paulo where they were destined to have a divine time together.

Will have to wait a little longer to see what other racy shots will be part of the shoot.

Image Source: Made In Brazil
Photographer: Steven Klein

January 16, 2009

Madonna Gets Mojo And Moula Back After Divorce

Madonna and Steven Klein have dinner at the Waverly Inn, NYC

Madonna has been looking better than ever since her divorce from Guy Ritchie late last year.

Gone is the lurid stage makeup and haggard expression that she wore during her Sticky & Sweet tour and throughout the trials and tribulations of her divorce last year.

Looking fabulously youthful and surprisingly elegant with new face in tow, she was spotted out to dinner with long time friend, photographer Steven Klein, at the Waverly Inn in New York.

It’s understandable that Madonna seems happier of late, she has much to smile about these days.

The Material Girl topped Calendar’s Ultimate Top 10 list of highest grossing pop acts for 2008. Madonna was the No 1 concert attraction and she took in $105.3 million from her touring in addition to $14.8 million from music sales. Worldwide, according to Pollstar, Madonna amassed a staggering $281.6 million.

Madge must be hugely pleased with her 2008 revenue, especially as she had to fork out so much money for her divorce to Ritche. Any new income will ensure she is not left poor, penniless and on the streets.

In addition, Madonna is supposedly dating model, Jesus Luz, 20. A relationship that surely must be blessed with the union of their names. Madonna met Jesus during a shoot for W magazine, shot by Steven Klein in Rio De Jeneiro, and invited him to join her on her Sticky & Sweet tour through Sao Paulo.

The couple apparently are “ficando,” which is Portuguese for friends with benefits and Jesus produced a return to form for Madonna who previous to limey Guy Ritchie seemed to favour the Latino look. A-Rod was nowhere to be seen.

Feeling rejuvenated and loved up by her new toy boy and with bags of cashola coming into her account, Madonna will be glad to see the back of 2008 and is hoping for a more successful new year.

For more details re Madonna's 2008 earnings, see story in All About Madonna

January 13, 2009

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – Not So Curious Really

Brad Pitt all wrinkly

cocobytes Review
Though you are curious as to the manner of how Benjamin Button develops throughout his life, (i.e. he ages backwards),once you get past this fact, the rest of the story is a fairly rudimentary yet busy tale about two beautiful people who love each other.

David Fincher’s “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” is based on a short story by F Scott Fitzgerald about a man who ages backwards from beginning his life as an eighty year old to dying as a newborn while all around him everyone ages in the conventional sense.


Button stars Brad Pitt playing the lead character of Benjamin Button, Cate Blanchett playing his love interest, Daisy and a standout performance by Taraji P. Henson, who plays Benjamin’s mother.

The story begins when Benjamin is born “under unusual circumstances” in 1918 in New Orleans as a wrinkly, old man. His mother dies just after his birth and upon seeing the child, frightened and shocked father, Thomas, (Jason Flemying) abandons the child on the steps of a nursing home owned by Queenie (Taraji P.Henson). Queenie takes pity on Benjamin and adopts the child as her own.

Little, wrinkly Benjamin seems to fit in rather well with the other residents of the nursing home who take on his appearance as an unfortunate illness. Nobody including Benjamin, expects him to last long due to his delicate health but he continues to grow, get stronger and younger as he ages.

At 12 years old and looking ancient, he meets 7 year old Daisy and is instantly smitten, likewise for Daisy. They hang out together late at night which seems a bit weird and creepy to watch but over time, Daisy becomes his soul mate and destiny keeps bringing them together throughout their lives as Daisy grows older and Benjamin gets younger.

Over the rest of the duration of the almost three hour film, everything but the kitchen sink is thrown in with numerous supplementary characters brought in to confuse the viewer. Major events that occur in Button’s life are shown including getting a job on a boat led by Captain Mike (Jared Harris), fighting at sea in World War II and having an affair with aristocrat, Elizabeth Abbott (Tilda Swinton) whom he meets along his travels.

Sidelining these key events is his relationship with Daisy who becomes a famous ballerina. As their ages are now more closely aligned, their love for each other deepens though is tinged with sadness as they both know they won’t be able to grow old gracefully together due to Button’s “illness” and they cherish the remaining time they have together.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has many strong points. Ten stars go to the fantastic CGI and prosthetic effects which are subtly done although at one stage when Brad Pitt was supposed to be about sixteen years old, his smooth skin and young features made me laugh out loud as he looked like he had just come from the set of “Thelma & Louise." Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett are strong in their roles, but neither are particularly moving or affecting to the viewer.

The movie is appealing but perhaps something has got lost in translation from the book to the film as it lacks any real dynamism to make it outstanding. The themes are sober, the underpinning score is heavy and the duration of the movie keeps the tone serious.

By the end of the nearly three hours, I was relieved and my curiosity was well and truly sated for another day.


January 12, 2009

Glamour Makes A Comeback At The Golden Globes

The 66th Annual Golden Globes were back last Sunday night after a respite due to the Writes Strike last year and nobody was happier to see its return than Hollywood’s premium A-listers.

The event gave celebrities something to do whilst sitting around waiting for a role to come their way. An extensive preparation phase was required before being able to attend the Globes which involved getting their faces freshly botoxed, bodies pummelled, massaged and drained of fat, the choosing of an outfit to wear to the event and selecting the accompanying bling to ensure they glittered like a mirror ball.

This could take several weeks if not months to organise, but it kept them busy and purposeful and they threw themselves into the task with gusto. Ultimately, their face, body, outfit and accessories needed to be perfection personified to enable them to feel confident parading like peacocks on the red carpet as well as hobnob with various directors for that possible upcoming role at the after parties.

This year’s red carpet brought in a respectable amount of glamour but in a sophisticated and stylish way with few daring to be different. A predominance of grey and neutral tones abounded which were classy if not a tad lacklustre. Some highlights both good and bad included the following:

Eva Mendes – Definitely a stand out in her white Dior silk taffeta gown. Her turquoise diamond necklace from Van Cleef and Arpels complemented her skin tone perfectly.

Drew Barrymore – Her Galliano for Dior dress was a gorgeous shade of blue-grey but mismatched with her bouffant hair which made her look so young and girly as if she had just walked of the set of E.T.

Eva Longoria – Back on form after a number of fashion mishaps in a stunning, curvaceous red Reem Acra dress. One of only a handful of celebrities who dared to wear traffic stopping red.

Cameron Diaz – Her hot pink one shoulder draped Chanel gown was absolutely divine with her golden tan and a real standout amongst the neutrals but maybe she could have retouched her roots. Her hair colour looked a little mousey on top.

Kate Winslet – Elegant & old school glam in black strapless Yves Saint Laurent if not just a bit boring. However, her gushing double acceptance speeches for two acting awards ensured she was anything but dull.

J-Lo – Resurrected her bootylicious self in a revealing, gold Marchesa number but the plunging neckline was reminiscent of a previous Versace gown she wore to the 2000 Grammys – been there done that, time to reinvent yourself Jen.

Renee Zellweger – Somebody’s going to get sacked over this one. Zellweger looked as if she had turned up to the event straight from the set of some Victorian epic she was shooting. Wrong on a number of levels, with her spiral curls, see through blouse over a nude bustier and fishtail skirt, the look was completed with Renee’s nutty facial expression which made people wonder how many pills she’d taken.

Brangelina – Cool as a cucumber, this couple can do no wrong even when they snub reporters on the red carpet. Brad Pitt is a god, but is Angelina Jolie’s relaxed glamour getting just a bit tedious? Her subdued metallic Versace gown with thigh high split was beautifully elegant and understated but will she ever wear a bright colour again?

Jeremy Piven – It’s nice to see Jeremy making a comeback after his bout of mercury poisoning – such dedication to the cause.

No Sign of World Economic Crisis At Golden Globes

Kate Winslet with her double win at the 2009 Golden Globes

The Golden Globes were back this year after the Writers Strike of 2008 forced its cancellation. Hollywood breathed a collective sigh of relief that they could go back to the heady glamour and abundant excess that they were used to.

Humungous bottles of Moet champagne filled the tables, goody bags overflowed with cars and houses, countless lavish after parties were attended and everyone knew that life was sweet once again.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association spared no expense in feting and fawning over the actors, actresses, producers, directors and writers who attended the glamorous spectacle at The Beverly Hilton because let’s face it they truly deserved it and the Hollywood Foreign Press who remain faceless and nameless are just glorified (and rich) fans of their idols.

Goody bags were provided as a thank you to each of the presenters for managing to mumble a minutes worth of speech and due to the fact that they only receive the minimum union payment for services rendered. This may not seem much for their efforts but it all counts to the usual 20 – 100 million celebrities earn for each movie they make.

The goody bags contained such items as flights, jewellery, designer clothes, watches, ipods and iphones and even though every one of those presenters could afford to buy these items themselves if not several of each, they all clamoured to get one just like the way people clamour to get the red spot specials at Kmart. That said, the difference this year was that a hefty tax was being put on the goody bags which presenters would be up for, no doubt a harrowing experience they would have to endure.

As the show began and dinner was served, actor after actor strode onto the space age stage to either present an award or accept one, all the while hurling superlatives about how good they were at what they did whilst the attentive crowd nodded their heads gravely as if what was being said on stage was somehow important and life changing.

Highlights & Lowlights

Slumdog Millionaire – Superb movie and fantastic to see it win all the awards it was up for especially for a film with an unknown cast.

Tina Fey – Very funny and totally deserving for her excellent work on 30 Rock. Hilarious speech too.

Kate Winslet – Went a little overboard with the deep breathing and the gushing over Leonardo DiCaprio during her acceptance speech but she seemed heartfelt enough.

Heath Ledger - The real genuine moment on the show was Heath Ledger’s win for Best Supporting Actor which earned a standing ovation by the crowd. Everyone seemed to be backing him and it was sad that he wasn’t there to accept his award for a superb performance.

Mickey Rourke – Once a gorgeous man, now his face is puffed and botoxed beyond recognition. That said his speech for Best Actor in A Drama was gutsy and real if not a bit boozy.

Sasha Baron Cohen – Irreverent as usual but the only person to reference the recession managed to shock Hollywood with his comments saying "This recession is affecting everyone, even celebrities. Victoria Beckham hasn't eaten for three weeks. Charlie Sheen has been forced to have sex without paying for it. It's true. And even Madonna has had to get rid of one of her personal assistants. Our thoughts go out to you Guy Ritchie." Super funny but naturally Hollywood was offended – perhaps they didn’t laugh because they didn’t know there was a recession.

Ricky Gervais – Continues to have a laugh at the expense of Hollywood – awesome.

The show finally wrapped up after much back slapping and air kissing and with no suggestion that the world financial crisis had affected these people in any way, they partied into the wee hours of the morning secure that the world (Hollywood) continued to be a beautiful place.

January 9, 2009

Nicole Kidman Hates Her Acting As Much As We Do

Nicole Kidman tried her best scary acting face but nobody believed her



Nicole Kidman felt the puzzling need to let the world know she can’t stand seeing herself on screen and isn’t proud of her performance in latest movie “Australia." A rather strange & damaging comment to make whilst “Australia” is still running in movie theatres worldwide and one of which director, Baz Luhrmann, and the producers must be really delighted about.

Kidman was being interviewed by Australian radio station 2 Day FM, saying she “squirmed” in her seat during the Sydney premiere because she felt extremely uncomfortable watching herself on screen.

Kidman said "I can't look at this movie and be proud of what I've done. I sat there, and looked at Keith and went, 'Am I any good in this movie?' But I thought Brandon Walters and Hugh Jackman were wonderful. It's just impossible for me to connect to it emotionally at all."

Kidman was so embarrassed by her performance and her tight, highly animated face on screen, that as soon as the premiere was over she hailed a taxi to the airport and got her sorry ass and handbag, Keith out of the country toots sweet because her nervy disposition couldn’t take it if someone said the slightest negative thing about her.

The sad lady knew the critics were just waiting with pens poised for the movie to finish so they could write something damning about her frozen face and jittery acting skills on screen.

She said "We ran because I didn't want to read anything. I didn't want to know. I saw my sister and my family and we saw Keith's family and then we were straight on a plane." Kidman added she only attended the premiere to please the film's director Baz Luhrmann.

Oh the poor dear, she probably wanted to throw herself onto her lilac bed and cry softly into her silk pillows to wash the pain away.

The most interesting tidbit she uttered in the interview was that throughout her entire movie career she had only had only been able to force herself to sit through screenings for “Moulin Rouge” and “Australia.” She said: "I don't usually see my films, but because of Baz I had to see it. I saw 'Moulin Rouge'. I've really only seen that and this in my whole career. It gets worse as I get older."

It gets worse as I get older??

Isn’t she an Oscar winner? Isn’t she proud of any of her previous performances or does she, like us, think they are all shit.
It’s not fair that she didn’t have to sit through her other movies and we did.

A word of advice Nicole, get over your special victims unit survivor act – you don’t know how to act it and nobody’s buying it. You are doing much more damage by opening your inside out lipped mouth and trying to play the injured party.

Alternatively, you could stop acting - as you say yourself, it will only get worse as you get older.

See SMH for full story.

January 8, 2009

Brad Pitt – Bringing Respect Back to Affairs

Grainy Brad Takes Pride in His Actions
While other human beings carry out their clandestine affairs with deceit, lust and guilt, Brad Pitt is the only person in the world that can hold his head up high; proud of the decent and dignified way he handled his affair with Angelina Jolie whilst being married to Jennifer Aniston.

Pitt was mouthing off in yet another interview for W magazine where he managed to twist reality and come across as some sort of saint just in time for the Oscar nomination list to be announced. Pitt is on the cover of the magazine looking a bit Button-ey - all wrinkly, grainy and real, possibly implying the guy is true and speaks no bullshit.

The love triangle concerning Pitt, Jolie & Aniston is resurrected yet again to squeeze the last bit of press juice out of. All three have had a go now so hopefully this one is going to bed soon?

When asked about whether he became involved with Jolie during filming of “Mr & Mrs Smith,” whilst still being married to Aniston, Pitt clarifies "What people don't understand is that we filmed ['Mr. & Mrs. Smith] for a year. We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't. I'm very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful."

Geez must be the only human on the planet that can put the words “affair” together with words like “proud” and “respectful.”

Clearly Pitt is in denial and has no place to go but to justify his actions in the saga otherwise how could he live with himself or more to the point how could we live with our image of Brad, the Golden Boy unless he made it all seem OK.

Let’s see if this latest spin helps to garner him an Oscar nomination because frankly it's not working on the general public.

Your move Aniston.

January 6, 2009

John Mayer & Pete Wentz Stroke Each Others Egos

John Mayer & Pete Wentz - The Egos Have Landed
Nauseating isn’t it? Not sure whose ego is bigger, but if size does matter then these two douches have egos ten times larger than their pea brains and any other working equipment they might own.

John Mayer seems more interested in sucking up to bestie, Pete Wentz, bass player from Fall Out Boy and husband of airhead Ashlee Simpson, than talking it up about latest squeeze Jennifer Aniston, even though she has really scraped the bottom of the compliment barrel to come up with some bullshit praise for his sad ass.

The story goes that as Wentz and band were being interviewed for the upcoming February issue of Blender magazine at The Beverly Hills Hotel, who should rock up right on cue but none other than boyfriend, John Mayer. Clearly, feeling media interest on him waning, Mayer felt it necessary to cut in on Wentz’ press time and thereby keep his own hype chugging along.

When asked about Wentz, Mayer’s perplexing response was,

“Pete has this fabulous meta-awareness.” “Some people mistake it for narcissism, but it’s really just his way of playing with the idea of ‘Pete Wentz.’ His genius is he’s always one step ahead.” Mayer also admires the way Wentz has navigated the perils of tabloid romance: “To have this beautiful relationship with someone who gets attacked so often, and to handle it with such grace and respect—I just find that really impressive.”

Firstly, can somebody explain what meta awareness is?

Secondly, why does John Mayer elevate Pete Wentz, (who in the same Blender interview says about Ashlee Simpson “I hunted her down and shot the dart in her,”) to the heights of being a genius?

Answer – because John Mayer who is in a parallel situation to Wentz with his own famous girlfriend Aniston, thinks he is a genius too and is actually referring to himself via the smoke screen of talking about Wentz. He couldn’t care less about Pete, I mean why would you? Mayer just wants the world to know that he is totally clever and shit hot and can come up with inspired words like “meta-awareness” that everyone is going to start using because it’s just so damn awesome.

I think in this instance, meta egomaniac is probably more suitable and even more awesome.

Click here to read story on Blender.

January 2, 2009

Jeremy Piven Recovers from Illness With Help From The Ladies

You want me? Join the queue



“Entourage” actor, Jeremy Piven appears to have recovered from his “bout” of mercury poisoning with the aid of a new lady friend.

Jeremy met the woman of his dreams at Britney Spears’ 27th birthday bash last December to which all the finest grade ladies in Hollywood attended. Ashley Chontos, a 23 year old ex-model and waitress or at least that’s what her business card says, is the new hottie in Piven’s life for the next five minutes.

Although Piven was actually gunning for another girl he met at the party, his relentless pursuit scared the girl shitless and she bailed leaving dejected Jeremy with no other choice than to follow up with sloppy seconds in the form of Ashley and is now so crazy in love that he has decided to invite Ashley to the Golden Globes this year instead of his mum as he has for the past four years, so he doesn’t come over all gay mummy’s boy yet again.

Piven is certain that Ashley is the one, although before leaving Britney’s party, he had also sent a text shout out to all the women he had met that night, inviting them to a free for all first dibs sexy time session with him back at his hotel room. His text read "Come to my room - whoever responds first gets me for the night."

Wow, that’s one tempting invite; unfortunately nobody came forward, so Piven followed up on the Chontos lead.

Piven is now currently in Bangkok allegedly undergoing treatment for his mercury poisoning or so rumour has it whilst the love of his life stayed in Miami prepping for her upcoming appearance at the Globes and her one chance to make it big as a Hollywood star. They are keeping their love alive via tender text messages.

Hopefully they will find a cure for Jeremy so he can return to his beautiful lady and continue his sushi worship.