August 23, 2009

Renee Says Keep Your Mitts off Bitch, He's Mine

Renee is pleased she managed to snare on of the singletons from Jen

As she slipped her hand confidently into his back pocket she let the world and Jennifer Aniston know just who was calling the shots on this one.

There they were in sexy Spain, Renee Zellweger, 40, Academy Award winner, on a secret tryst with her new toyboy, Bradley Cooper, 34, a man with a perennial Hangover.

Only problem, they were surrounded by a horde of pesky paps. Lightbulb: What better way to let Jen know that he’s Renee’s man than when the images are plastered around the world’s entertainment portals.

Just because a guy in Hollywood is single doesn’t immediately mean Jen gets first dibs at them. Doesn’t also mean they are instantly interested in Jen….clearly.

Yes we know the woman is need we say it … desperate, but hey Jen guess what, he’s just not that into you. There are other ladies out there who are sick of hiring a model for their red carpet event and are clawing their way to find that one hang up free guy, which is virtually impossible in the problem seductive world of Hollywood.

For once Renee’s permanently slit closed eyes opened to ensure they stayed peeled on her man. You never know when Aniston might pop up into Spain looking for Bradley.

On the other side of the world, a freshly golden streaked and newly tanned Aniston completed yet another magazine story revealing her breasts and illuminating the world as to how much she enjoyed being single and hoped to be friends with Brad one day...yawn.

Keep trying Jen, Sean’s coming up for dibs any day now.