Brad Pitt Spews Forth Sickening Declaration of Love For Angie

Ok we’re sickened, literally. Hands down the throat at this latest unnecessary statement by the ever so perfect yet titillating couple, well Brad anyway.

Clearly frightened by the power “She” yields on him, Brad felt the need at every given turn in Cannes to somehow mention Angelina and be thankful for their heavenly relationship and six god spun cherubs.

Speaking at an after-party in Cannes, Pitt said, “I am in love and I have the most beautiful family - what else can a guy want? I am the happiest man ever.”

“My daughter from Africa is beautiful. We’re so lucky to have her and to have children from around the world. They’re all fantastic and we would love another. Who knows, maybe we’ll have one in London, I’d like that.”

A zillion people round the world suddenly felt nauseous.

Yes we know you are apparently totally loved up with each other, we know you are perfectly assembled creatures, we know your brood of angels are glorious and we know you had to absolutely outshine Quentin Tarantino at the premiere of his movie Inglorious Basterds, at Cannes, but really it’s not necessary to shove your faeces down our throats?

Or perhaps Angelina wrote that little love statement for Brad to read out. Because it seemed staged. Why did Brad feel the need to declare his sugary feelings to the outside world? Who the hell are we? Sure we lapped up that crap but it really wasn’t necessary.

We never thought we were on their level anyway, after all we are just humans. They, on the other hand are specimens of perfection. The pressure to maintain the role of god’s most loved and beautiful couple on the planet must be massive.

How long can they sustain it before the next god-like couple hits town?

Oscar Recap: Razzle Dazzle & All That Jazz

Well we were presented with a new all singing all dancing format for the 81st Oscars on Sunday night that was low on the jokes but high on the dazzle.

But did we love it’s campness?

Well let’s just say Hugh Jackman delivered a spectacular spectacle alright but lacked the sarcastic deliciousness of previous hosts, John Stewart, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg who had the gift of being able to send up the Hollywood community and make us all laugh at home even if the celebs who were at the Kodak Theatre didn’t or couldn’t chuckle due to tightened facial muscles.

To compensate for the fact that a financial crisis is taking place in the States, Hollywood tried to act as if cutting costs for big production numbers at the Oscars would be seen as sympathetic to the economic crisis and amusing to boot by the millions of people watching from home, so makeshift cardboard cut-outs representing the five best picture nominees were used as props to back up Hugh’s all singing/dancing review.

Yeah ok, we the peoples, were mildly amused by this but really it was like watching some seventies musical or possibly the Tony Awards which Hugh Jackman already hosted in a similar fashion.

The crowd was positioned closer to the stage inviting a theatresque, intimate setting where laughter could be heard reverberating around the room and dispelling the tension and intimidation experienced in previous years.

Unfortunately the pleasure of seeing Hollywood squirm as we have at past Oscars was sadly lacking but what we were rewarded with was a night of great speeches by a cross section of people.

Notable mentions of the night:

Hugh Jackman – performed a stellar Cabaret opening number complete with high kicks, thick orange pancake makeup and dried up saliva which seemed to be forming at the corners of his mouth due to nerves or dehydration perhaps?

Tina Fey & Steve Martin – one of the few really funny moments of the night. These two presented the Writers Awards and were just awesome together. Anyone got a script to throw their way?

Penelope Cruz – Won Best Supporting Actress and gave one of the best and real speeches of the night about growing up in a small town in Spain and her dreams of being at the Oscars.

Ben Stiller & Natalie Portman – Ben Stiller’s Joaquin Phoenix impersonation was spot on but not sure if everyone in the Kodak Theatre or watching from home for that matter got it.

Heath Ledger – Unsurprisingly, Heath won for Best Supporting Actor and even though he has been winning every precursor award in this category it was still extremely poignant to see his mother, father and sister come up to the stage to accept his award and give a very dignified speech on his behalf.

Kate Winslet – Finally won for Best Actress after being nominated several times. Looking breathtaking in her two toned YSL blue and black gown, her speech was much better than her over the top sermon she delivered for her win at the Golden Globes.

Sean Penn – Sean upstaged Mickey Rourke with his Best Actor win but gave a brilliant speech starting with "You commie, homo-loving sons of guns. I did not expect this, and I want it to be very clear that I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me often."

Danny Boyle – Our favourite of the night, Boyle’s speech was gracious and honest – a truly genuine guy.

But the best for last, the most noteworthy moment of the night though has to be the Brangelina vs Aniston debacle. As Jennifer Aniston took to the stage with Jack Black to present the Animation awards, the Oscar producers couldn’t resist a sneaky cut to Angelina Jolie to gauge her reaction.

But Jolie being the smart lady she was and noticing the camera lens pointing her way, had already arranged her features with a warm expression, smiling widely up at Aniston when the cameras panned her way as if what Aniston was saying was just so great and funny and if they were all going to invite each other over for a cup of tea real soon.

Ah Hollywood, don’t you just love em.

Oscar Glamorama

To gear us up for the 81st Annual Academy Awards on Sunday night, let’s take a trip down memory lane and check out all the best of the best glamorous and blinged up ladies working it majorly on the red carpet over the years at the Oscars.

You will notice some of their faces have changed over time but hey, its Hollywood and a girl’s got to be able to give good red carpet if they want to survive and be noticed because let’s face it a successful gown is all one needs these days to get noticed by a top director.

These are some of our faves:

Julianne Moore (Oscars 03) - Four time Oscar nominee Julianne Moore wears gorgeous emerald YSL on the red carpet perfectly complimenting her auburn hair. Our absolute favourite.

Michelle Williams (Oscars 06) – This saffron yellow Vera Wang gown looks superb on Michelle matched with bright red lips. A dazzling look but she gets away with it.

Reese Witherspoon (Oscars 07) - Reese Witherspoon is just stunning in aubergine layered Nina Ricci by Olivier Theyskens.

Angelina Jolie (Oscars 04) - Angelina Jolie in sexy white satin Marc Bouwer, say no more.

Cate Blanchett (Oscars 99) - Cate turns up not once but twice in our gallery and we could have gone for a third. John Galliano’s back-embroidered butterfly-decorated gown is just amazing and Cate has consistently been a true style leader over the years.

Gwyneth Paltrow (Oscars 07) – With straight ironed locks and beautifully pleated apricot tulle-and-chiffon Zac Posen gown, we can forgive Gwyneth for past misdemeanours.

Bjork (Oscars 01) – Dead swan dress obliterates the compettion. Nuff said.

Looking forward to bitching about all the new gowns and faces on the red carpet Sunday night.

Check back for a recap.

Changeling – A Mother’s Fight For Justice

cocobytes Review
"Changeling" is a heavy, sombre story with a lot of shade and not so much light within its narrative.

Continuing his series of darkly themed movies, Clint Eastwood, 78, aptly directs this “true story” of single mother, Christine Collins, played by Angelina Jolie who in 1928 Los Angeles, returns home from work to find her young son, Walter, is missing and attempts to report this to the police.

After an initial feeble attempt in getting involved, the LAPD find themselves, months later, under pressure to solve the case. They return a boy to Christine and arrange for the media to capture the reunion.

However, Christine quickly realises he is not her son and fights to find justice and truth within the police force, whilst relentlessly continuing the search for her son. She is supported on her pursuit by Presbyterian minister, Reverend Gustav Briegleb (John Malkovich), who himself is on a campaign to expose corrupt cops.

Christine’s dogged battle with the police ultimately sees her thrown into a mental hospital, where she finds other woman in similar situations for speaking out. She struggles to clear her name and resume the gritty search for her son.

Angelina Jolie, has a lot on her plate playing Christine Collins and is required to produce a gamut of emotions from loss, grief, fear, anger, frustration as well as moments of hope. It’s a lot to ask and at times Jolie is robotic and appears to lack the substance to make us empathise with her character.

We know we are supposed to feel emotion for her but it’s hard when her extraordinary face and red, luscious lips are continually displayed on the screen at every given opportunity, distracting us from the storyline and somehow giving the feeling that despite her grief, Christine was always able to apply Chanel Rouge Allure lipstick.

The story at times is difficult to watch due to the subject matter and not necessarily aided by overacting on the part of some of the main actors however, scene stealer, Amy Ryan as the prostitute imprisoned in the mental hospital, gives another convincing performance.

"Changeling" as a whole has its flaws but the compelling story leaves the viewer with the feeling that the pursuit and determination to discover the truth is the only way we can truly live our lives with integrity.

The Jolie-Pitt Posse on Display In Japan

The Jolie-Pitts arrived en masse in Japan early Tuesday morning and struggled to get their brood of six through Narita airport.

Naturally they caused a spectacle, not because of the size and beauty of their rainbow family though that alone was enough to cause traffic in the airport but because they were trailed by a massive pack of paparazzi all vying for that money shot.

Flash bulbs went off in every direction and the gathering crowd was temporarily blinded, or was it just due to the Jolie-Pitt’s gorgeousness.

This was the first time we were able to view the whole clan in one place and their beauty was too much for mere mortals.

The twins, Vivienne and Knox were so delightful and pleasing to the eye, but then again what could we expect from this family of exquisite saints. Knox wore an adorable matching beret just like his dad and was almost as good looking. Both twins had the same dear in the headlights expression on their faces because they were scared shitless by all the press around them.

The family arrived in Japan for the premiere of Brad's latest film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” Pitt has been promoting this movie since like eternity, so he will be glad when the Oscars are finished so he can put Mr Button to bed.

They are due to return to the US in time for the Academy Awards, where both have been nominated for Best Acting Oscars and no doubt will steal the show even if they don't go home with an award.

Let’s Throw A Pity Party for Brad Pitt

Poor old Brad Pitt.

It must be terribly hard ambling down all those countless red carpets with the most beautiful woman in the world i.e. Angelina Jolie, dangling from his arm, being paid twenty million per blockbuster movie, having six gorgeously stunning children, a string of multi-million dollar homes around the world, a jet setting lifestyle and then, god forbid, having to actually answer idiotic questions by irritatingly stupid entertainment reporters on the red carpet such as “what colour underpants are you wearing today?”

Yeah life’s a bitch.

And it’s even more of a bitch when you are one half of the most famous couples on earth, Brangelina, and possess higher powers than mere mortals, so dumb questions really insult your intelligence.

In an interview with Newsweek recently, Pitt complained of the perils he faced with being an A list celebrity at the top of his game, namely, how answering a few questions on the red carpet was excruciating and wasn’t “what he signed up for."

He told Newsweek, "This publicity machine is out of control. It's everything we didn't sign up for." "There's this whole other entity that you get sucked into. You have to go and sell your wares.” "It's something I never made my peace with." "Somehow you're not supporting your film if you don't get on a show and talk about your personal life.” "It has nothing to do with why I do this," he whinged.

Is it really that hard for Brad to do a bit of promotion for a movie that he believes in and that he is getting paid so much money for? Surely, it’s the least he could do without grumbling.

Could it be so stressful to answer a minute’s worth of questions, even if slightly personal, on the red carpet, before attending an award show and a number of sumptuous after parties where he and other Hollywood A listers are fawned over with champagne and caviar?

It does sound awfully exhausting.

Yes the general public are fascinated in Pitt’s relationship with Angelina Jolie, but can you blame them?

The couple’s faces are plastered in magazines constantly. If Pitt didn’t sign up for it, why did he personally choose to photograph a very private yet revealing number of shots of Angelina and his children for a massive spread in W magazine that was sold in large quantities all over the world last year? Why did Pitt continually discuss his love triangle with Jolie and ex wife, Jennifer Aniston, in numerous interviews during the year? Why are Pitt & Jolie so high profile wherever they go in the world and appear in the media on a near daily basis, even when they aren’t promoting a movie?

If Pitt really wanted to be less exposed, it’s totally possible, it’s totally his choice. Just say no.

Perhaps stop whining Brad, because if you don’t want to do it, I am sure there are countless people who would be more than willing to swap places with you and “sell their wares."

Brad Pitt – Bringing Respect Back to Affairs

While other human beings carry out their clandestine affairs with deceit, lust and guilt, Brad Pitt is the only person in the world that can hold his head up high; proud of the decent and dignified way he handled his affair with Angelina Jolie whilst being married to Jennifer Aniston.

Pitt was mouthing off in yet another interview for W magazine where he managed to twist reality and come across as some sort of saint just in time for the Oscar nomination list to be announced. Pitt is on the cover of the magazine looking a bit Button-ey - all wrinkly, grainy and real, possibly implying the guy is true and speaks no bullshit.

The love triangle concerning Pitt, Jolie & Aniston is resurrected yet again to squeeze the last bit of press juice out of. All three have had a go now so hopefully this one is going to bed soon?

When asked about whether he became involved with Jolie during filming of “Mr & Mrs Smith,” whilst still being married to Aniston, Pitt clarifies "What people don't understand is that we filmed ['Mr. & Mrs. Smith] for a year. We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't. I'm very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful."

Geez must be the only human on the planet that can put the words “affair” together with words like “proud” and “respectful.”

Clearly Pitt is in denial and has no place to go but to justify his actions in the saga otherwise how could he live with himself or more to the point how could we live with our image of Brad, the Golden Boy unless he made it all seem OK.

Let’s see if this latest spin helps to garner him an Oscar nomination because frankly it's not working on the general public.

Your move Aniston.

Jennifer, John, Owen, Marley & Me

So this is what all that press was leading up to, you know the Oprah interview, Vogue article, GQ piece etc, that was all for this? Yeah that’s right it’s the premiere of Jennifer Aniston’s movie “Marley & Me,” about a puppy or something.

The way Aniston was everywhere on the press circuit I thought she was launching a new space station. No, no, it’s just a movie about a dog. OK, it is a cute puppy dog but was it necessary for Aniston to do the blanket publicity coverage thing for that?

But then again I guess that’s the measure a girl has to take these days when she has a movie launching the same week as her ex husband. Yes that’s right, the same ex husband by the name of Brad Pitt that said girl was once married to.

And there was every chance that this certain Brad Pitt would bring his partner, a certain Angelina Jolie to his premiere night scheduled on the same week to make it a media spectacle.

He did bring her and she did make it a media spectacle.

Hence the need to keep up with these people if not upstage them entirely.

Aniston came quite close to that at the “Marley & Me Premiere.” She was positively glowing with masses of blonde hair, golden Californian tan and teeny weeny black dress.

And then there was pale faced John Mayer, her new boyfriend. Mayer did his best to keep up with the scrutiny and was clearly enamoured by the all the press attention but he lets the side down. Besides from the fact that they never posed together for the money shot - but that’s only a matter of time.

Keep trying Jen, The Brange is within reach.

Jennifer Aniston Goes to Nude School to Promote Movie

I really hope this is the last of Jennifer Aniston’s self promotion run of late, it’s getting tiring.

Each week there is a new yet vaguely similar angled story and this week is no exception. We are privy to Aniston’s naked body posing with just a tie around her neck on the cover of the next issue of GQ in a final burst of press overkill.

OK, granted its one hell of a body but where does she go from here? She has exposed herself both vocally and now bodily, so what’s the next place she can take us to. Perhaps try shutting your mouth girl, I hear you cry. Couldn’t agree more.

In the interview she rehashes that old chestnut about Angelina Jolie’s admission of her & Brad’s affair during the making of "Mr & Mrs Smith" saying,

“Well, you know, that was definitely a confirmation for me of something that wasn’t quite confirmed at the time.” “Considering the source, nothing surprises me.”

Byting words indeed but Aniston had just said at the beginning of this week in an interview with USA Today to promote her upcoming movie “Marley & Me,” that she didn’t understand the public’s preoccupation with her private life.

"I think it's ridiculous. There's just this insatiable need. I also haven't had a movie in a long time, so hopefully this is going to create something else to talk about and realize that I have a job, and I'm an actress."

And again,

"I am honestly getting sick of it, and I feel like telling people, "You know what? It's none of your (expletive) business."

Note to Jen (in big letters) – so stop talking about yourself and fanning the flames – perhaps try shutting the (expletive) up.

To read rest of USA Today interview, click here

Angelina's Curious Case of Amusement at the Button Premiere

Angelina Jolie decided to change strategy at The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’s Los Angeles premiere on Monday night.

Ambling down the red carpet with partner and “Button” star, Brad Pitt, something seemed terribly funny and I don’t think it was the movie. She laughed at nobody in particular, played hide & seek with other attendees, tried to affectionately ingratiate herself with Brad’s parents and generally looked over the moon about life.

Brad didn’t seem nearly as happy and kept that sexy smouldering look on his face at all times allowing a small smile to creep out every now and then.

This was a big change for Angelina, usually she sexes it up in her moody big lipped way but this was a new side we were witnessing. Could she have been trying hard to promote Brad and her chances at Oscar glory? Or was she just trying to show Brad’s parents she can be all warm and fuzzy?

Not sure we are buying it.

She had this to say about Brad’s performance in the movie:

"I'm very, very proud. Mainly, I have seen every day he went to work just how hard he worked, how hard the director worked, and Cate -- and just how dedicated they were. It's been a big process; it's a very trying film. So, I am just so happy that it came out so beautifully and their work is going to be recognized. . . I cried, it's so beautiful. It's so touching. It's lovely; it's just a wonderful picture."

Ok we get it. It’s a good movie.

The premiere was also attended by a bevy of celebrities including Button’s other star Cate Blanchett wearing some bizarre glittery bell outfit as well as Tilda Swinton, a hot looking Jennifer Lopez, Eva Longoria and Gary Oldman.

Curious to see how “Button” performs award wise.

Oh God, They’re Back Together

Looks like Jennifer Aniston and her publicity starved toy boy, John Mayer, are back together again. I guess Mayer couldn’t stand not having the soothing feeling of camera flashbulbs burn his eyeballs and he just wasn’t feeling the love without Jen at his side. Let’s face it, the photos of him solo were fetching 2 cents each.

So John thought long and hard about what was really important in life and love and decided to give her a call.

Jen and John were seen dining together last night in New York. They left the restaurant separately because nobody knew about their relationship nor noticed the swarm of paparazzi tagging behind them and then met up at the Goldbar. Afterwards, they couldn’t stand the all the cloak & dagger stuff so just left together to head back to their hotel.

A radiant Aniston appeared on Oprah earlier the same day after a crammed week promoting of her upcoming movie “Marley & Me” to talk about the “uncool” comments she made about Angelina Jolie in the December issue of Vogue. She tried her best to backpeddle and appear like someone who wasn’t bitter and twisted about her marriage, going so far as to wish the Brangelina well.

Instead she was clearly gagging to discuss her on again union with Mayer, admitting she was seeing him and talking him up to be the saint that he truly is.


Looking forward to see how this one plays out.

Jennifer’s Not Bitter At All

In Jennifer Aniston’s article in the upcoming December Vogue magazine she is still discussing Angelina Jolie. Aniston says:

“I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss,"

"That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool.”

Jennifer, listen up. Important Lesson – Don’t show Angelina how much you care, you are just giving her more power and you seem well, just so jealous. Yes we know Angelina was “uncool”, actually I can think of a better word than uncool, but we get the point. I know you want to bring her down, I mean who doesn’t, that woman needs to take a step down from her saintly throne for a while and smell the real world. But you don’t need to be the person trying to break her. I know you want to, I truly feel your pain but you need to move on.

It’s interesting these people that need to keep the discussion alive about their ex’es like Jennifer and Nicole Kidman long after they are divorced.

Is this because they feel they are just not an interesting read unless the discussion includes their A lister ex husbands in some capacity? Is the copy a bit more compelling and readable if their exes are mentioned in some way. Hmm ... could be a point really. Let’s face it, there probably wouldn’t be much copy if it the article was just on them.

Brad Pitt Tells The World Please Don’t Photograph My Family

Brad Pitt has been talking it up about how he despises the paparazzi and berates them for continually pursuing his family whilst they jet set around the world every second day for either a media event or some world crisis.

That’s why he chose to publish a set of photos that he himself shot of Angelina Jolie, semi nude and breastfeeding on the cover of upcoming November issue of W as well as showcasing his six rainbow children to the world within the pages inside.

Do these people hear the irony in what they say? One minute they want privacy and sanctuary from the world’s prying cameras yet they continue to use the media as a channel for funnelling their incessant need for self gratification when it pleases them.

Granted the shots are beautiful, with that grainy, illicit feel and Brad is no doubt a talented photographer and Angelina certainly has no issues with getting her kit off for the money shots and the children are absolutely gorgeous, but Brad, please understand exactly who is driving the media frenzy here.

Heavenly Brangelina – Let Us Pray

It was really just too much to bear for us mere mortals.

As Brangelina glided down the red carpet at the “Changeling” premiere on the 4th at the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York, our hearts were in our mouths.

There was just too much beauty in the room – we were temporarily blinded by the heat given off by these demi-gods.

Please take your heavenliness elsewhere, we just can’t stand it. Even Clint Eastwood appeared in a trance, stunned by Brangelina’s halo of perfection.

Looking classy and amazingly hot in a black strapless dress, Angelina was streets ahead of every other try-hard in Hollywood with her minimal look and accompanied by beautiful handbag Brad, who sexed it up with his mo and ever so casually slung black scarf.

The sound of cameras clicking every millisecond was deafening and yet Ang remained serene, sacred and god-like above the chaos as we all fell at her feet and fainted upon sighting her after being barred from viewing her image for so long.

Pray for us, please holy lady that somehow one day we will be worthy and you will select us as an orphan to join your brood.

Nicole Kidman Looking Wafer Thin After Birth of Daughter

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban were spotted in Nashville stepping out for coffee just two weeks after the birth of their daughter, Sunday Beef Roast on July 7th.

The newborn was nowhere to be seen and frankly neither was any leftover bulge on Nicole Kidman or the slightest hint that she had even delivered a baby a short time ago.

To top it off she wore figure skimming white, which seemed weird. Surely she would want to hide any, shall we say, unwanted unsightliness from view so quickly after the birth of her baby as Angelina Jolie did who had a fondness for wearing black tent dresses.

But no, Nicole was probably sick of being all covert during the “pregnancy” and needed to get out and stretch her skinny ass frame, forgetting that she would need to keep up the pretence long after the birth.

Did I mention Keith was there too.