December 1, 2009

I Honestly Love You But I Love My PR More

Are they faking it? Jake & Reese

Those with triple barrel surnames that no one can spell aren’t to be trusted.

Take Reese Witherspoon & Jake Gyllenhaal.

We were told yesterday morning they had broken up, then by lunchtime love had reared its ugly head and all was forgiven. By nightfall, the PR machine was cranked up and had thrown us a bone, spinning some shit about Reese declining Jake’s incessant marriage proposals and wanting to leave things as they are.

Come on, do we really believe all that baloney?

It’s hard to know with these two, I mean have they honestly even been together or has it just been a PR coup all along? Studying their carefully constructed photos it’s a little hard to tell. They always seem so aware of the camera. With Jake’s chiselled biceps, Reese’s chiselled chin, they are a publicists dream.

Yet for us the public their coupling can be dullsville, so things need to be spiced up to make them sound nothing short of fascinating, especially when there is an agenda at stake ie a film coming out starring one of the lovebirds. In this case Jake Gyllenhaal. His new film “Brothers” is due to be released in the States on 4th December.

And what better way to promote a movie than cause a bit of controversy with your relationship, you break up but hey guess what you make up in time for the premiere where you walk the red carpet looking all loved up. The paps are there waiting to get that money shot because everyone thought you two were breaking the fuck up.

The added promotion helps to remind us who you are again, because hell knows we certainly forgot. We then feel compelled to see the movie, the film does well, the backers get their dosh, the publicist has done his job, you get the picture?

Ofcourse there is another angle, the story of Jake wanting to marry Reese and her turning the proposal down could have been released by Reese’s people. After all maybe the Southern Girl is using a bit of reverse psychology to get her reluctant man down the aisle.

Time will tell which way this story swings.