Oprah Does Sucky Sucky Big Time To Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman & Hugh Jackman started ramping up the publicity machine in anticipation of the rollout of “Australia” their upcoming movie, by appearing on Oprah today.

Hugh of course was gorgeous and down to earth and absolutely chuffed to have made it onto Oprah for the first time – bless.

Nicole’s head however, was painted with so much makeup, in some angles she looked like the Joker. I couldn’t help staring at her crimson lips which were freshly pumped and a recent addition to her work in progress – her face. Less than a year ago, she had extremely thin cruella lips. No matter – it’s all part of her master plan of self reinvention – she won’t stop until her metamorphosis into a Wildenstein is complete.

The face paint was probably her shield against the evil gaze of the TV cameras. Surely her face alone would have taken her fawning assistants a couple of hours to create instead of the five minutes she declared it takes her to get ready in a previous article – come on give me a break!

At one point in the interview, in an obviously rehearsed and staged moment, Nicole produced a photo of baby Sunday Beef Roast. The photo apparently was taken with Keith’s phone but it appeared to be beautifully developed and god forbid, as if it had been carefully concepted and produced in a photographic studio. In case nobody got the fact it was a picture of her kid, narcissistic Nicole made sure her perky nose job and fish lips peeked out of the shot as well.

Check out the footage here:

Sycophant Oprah was all over Nicole, hurling superlatives about the movie it was truly stomach churning. Oprah probably asked for an extra pack of yummy Tim Tams for that one since Nic & Hugh were giving them out to the audience to bribe them into liking the movie.

Get ready for the Nicole roadshow in the days leading up to the “Australia” premiere. No doubt she will come up with some juicy bullshit sound bytes of her own to keep her in the press as long as possible.

We look forward to the sham.