Note to Jennifer Aniston – You’re Not Married To Brad

Hey Jen, not sure if you are aware of this small fact but you’re not married to Brad Pitt anymore.

In fact, you haven’t been married to the guy for yonks, so it’s interesting you seem to be in denial and still call him your “husband.”

Which Jennifer did in a new interview and photo shoot in the March edition of Marie Claire with some of the stars of her latest movie “He’s Just Not That Into You,” including Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. They all discussed their dating woes and the usual problems us girls experience with men.

However, Aniston who loves to chastise the press for discussing her personal life, was the first to fire the flames by rehashing the topic once again.

Aniston said she was suspicious about the whole online dating thing and was frightened of the internet. Jeez. She prefers more prehistoric methods of communication like audio cassettes which she uses to creepily tape phone messages from all of her exes including her husband. Bizzaro stalker behaviour indeed.

Some highlights of the interview are:-

Marie Claire: You all have, um, colorful dating pasts. If you weren’t celebrities, how would you choose to meet men?
Drew Barrymore: Drunk in a bar. No, wait - kidding!
Jennifer Aniston: I’d have to be dragged out to places. Well, like I am now.
Marie Claire: No Match.com? No Facebook?
Jennifer Aniston: No, No, No. The Internet freaks me out.
Ginnifer Goodwin: I think it’s the Devil. We’re pack animals! We’re supposed to be connecting face-to-face.
Jennifer Aniston: The Internet warps reality. If you’re an Internet person, real life will fall short of what you have been privy to online - sexually, emotionally. It’s so unreal and gives you this sense of order where there isn’t any. You can’t drag and paste life!
Marie Claire: You don’t feel you can get to know someone online?
Drew Barrymore: You think people tell the truth about themselves? Every guy is 6′4″ with a huge schlong. That’s why people love it so much. Internet doesnot equal sodium pentothal.

And ..

Drew Barrymore: I remember when I first started dating, the big thing was Radioshack answering machines. It was such a huge deal to run home and check your messages. And when you could actually check from another phone? That was, like, the craziest thing ever!
Jennifer Aniston: I still have the cassette tapes of messages from my first boyfriend, my second boyfriend, my husband… it’s like saving love letters.

Note the use of “husband” and not “ex husband” Psychologists will have a field day on her inadvertent slip.

Jennifer, for your own sake, move on from Brad. You’ve got John Mayer now. Go and tape some of the “gems” that he spouts out of his gob – he will love you forever for that one.