Act Three, Scene One: Joaquin Phoenix Club Brawl

Yeah whatever, this story is getting boring now. How much controversy can newly minted rap star, Joaquin Phoenix cause?

It seems as if ever since Joaquin left acting and morphed into his new career as a hip hop star, he has been tainted with bad singing, bad dancing, falling of stages and now fighting with hecklers.

Come on, give us a break. It’s practically scripted.

Joaquin was performing at a Miami nightclub on Thursday night, when he was understandably heckled from the crowd due to his usual sloppy performance.

To which Joaquin shouted back, “We have a f**king bitch in the audience,” as well as this gem “I’ve got 1 million in the bank. What have you got bitch?” The crowd played their part in the ensuing clash by chanting, “Beat him up!”

Joaquin visibly exasperated, leapt into the crowd and both parties appeared to go at each other, though it was dark and nobody could really see.

Joaquin was then hauled away, before finally someone yelled “cut.” Actually, nobody yelled cut, but Casey Affleck should have, because he was certainly there to film the event, yet again.

That little piece of Thursday night fun was more staged than Hulk Hogan and the World Wide Wrestlers Federation.

When Casey gets around to putting this movie together, I don’t really know if it’s worth a view, after all, we’ve all seen it now anyway, on YouTube.

Check it out for yourself!

Earth to Joaquin Phoenix, Anybody Home?

Hey Joaquin. What have you been smoking? Whatever it is, it’s some good shit.

Joaquin Phoenix has caused some concern as to whether he is insane in the membrane after a bizarro appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman left people wondering about the actor.

The interview got off to a less than promising start and proceeded to get more cuckoo as it progressed. Phoenix was on the show to promote his latest and possibly last movie, “Two Lovers,” but didn’t seem to be endorsing the film at all.

Joaquin either didn’t answer Letterman’s questions or sat staring at his hands or mumbled incoherently or looked perplexed at the audience’s laughter all the while, chomping away on some gum.

Letterman wasn’t going to make it easy for Joaquin either, and took any opportunity he could to get a few digs in, at one point asking “What can you tell us about your days with the Unabomber,” to which Joaquin stared blankly in response.

The only time that Joaquin managed to utter more than a one word answer was when Dave asked him whether he was serious about quitting acting to which he replied, “I have been working on my music; I am doing hip hop music.”

When people in the audience laughed at that, Phoenix asked “What do you have them on? What do you gas them up with?”

But the best line of the night, which almost seemed cruel, was when Letterman joked at the end of the interview “Joaquin I’m sorry you couldn’t be here tonight.”

If the dude is hoaxing us, it’s brilliant, but if Joaquin is genuinely going down some hippy love train nutcase path, it’s just plain space cadet behaviour.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, we don’t all have to play the tough guy as Letterman does, but it’s certainly puzzling to see Joaquin’s metamorphosis from Oscar nominee to hip hop hobo.

I tend to feel we are being punked by the performance, it’s just too good, especially when Joaquin stuck his gum under David Letterman’s table – that’s genius right there.

Is Joaquin Phoenix A Bona Fide Gangsta?

As much as there has been recent speculation that Joaquin Phoenix is faking his own career change as a newly minted rap star, the latest is he is the real deal.

Ok you have to admit you can’t blame anyone for thinking the whole transition thing into wanting to be a rap star was a sham, come on, the dude is a joke. Check out his embarrassing performance in Las Vegas.

But according to his rep, Susan Patricola, he is deadly serious about it. She says the actor’s move into hip hop is not a well crafted hoax but very real.

Patricola fired off an email to MTV stating “The transition from one career to another is never seamless. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Joaquin came from a musical family, in addition to winning a Golden Globe for his portrayal of Johnny Cash,” “He intends on exploring his musical interests despite speculative, negative or positive reactions.”

However, is she in on the joke too?

EW.com’s Hollywood Insider says Phoenix along with his brother in law, Casey Affleck, is not only playing an elaborate prank on the media, but his publicists are in on the scam too.

EW.com quotes sources close to the star as saying, "He said, 'It's a put-on. I'm going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it.'"

"It's an art project for him. He's going full out. He probably has told his reps that he's quit acting. "Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control."

Hmm, interesting, if it’s a hoax, it’s a damn fine one. Maybe there’s more to Joaquin than we thought?

One thing’s for sure, either Phoenix is going to have the shortest career as a rap star or we are going to get our dumbasses punked for believing this shit.

Joaquin Phoenix Is A Total Phat Rap Meister

Joaquin Phoenix is rediscovering his musical form now that he has given up all that stupid futile shit like acting and being an Oscar nominee and is able to focus entirely on his true love – hip hop.

Phoenix is determined to make it big as a funky rapper even bumping up the PR spin to promote his ass. He told People magazine recently just how serious he was:-

"This is me saying this is who I am. This is my story. After all the years of reading scripts and reading lines, this is my chance to do something straight from the heart and put it out there. When I was young I liked punk rock music but then I discovered rap. I love the storytelling aspect of hip-hop. Are there people out there who think I'm a joke? I'm sure there will be." Are there people who think it's going to suck? Probably, but I can’t worry about that."

Joaquin is so motivated about his new badass form that he is getting brother in law, good friend and fellow Oscar nominee, Casey Affleck to film and document the rise of the Phoenix’s rap career because you know it’s going to be awesome. These two have got to be joking, right?

Joaquin headed down to Vegas club LAVO with Casey in tow on the weekend to perform some fine rhymes and show the world his moves. When he arrived on stage, the audience gasped in awe because the man was ahead of his time, singlehandedly redefining the classic MC attire.

Gone were the chunky gold chains, the jeans hanging down around the knees and the backward cap. Oh no, that’s way too ole skool for Joaquin. He chose his clothes carefully, one woolly hat with holes in it that he found in the gutter - check, one saggy, smelly pair of grey pants - check, a comfy, cosy cable knit jumper - check and an unruly Grizzly Adams beard completed the look.

Yeah he’s looked damn fly for a white guy but then again it could have been a homeless man on stage. And just how was the man’s form on the mic? C’mon – it was lame, but to be fair he threw in a few moves, waved his hands around listlessly and at one stage fell off the stage – too cool.

Ok that may sound harsh, but take a look at the dude on stage. If he wasn’t an actor who once had some chops, would anyone be even listening? You decide.

Watch the man do his poetry, this is the essence of the Phoenix. The true Rap Aficionado coming at ya live and direct.

The Phoenix Raps Part 1

The Phoenix Raps Part 2

Joaquin Phoenix – Gangster, Freestyler, Rapper, Disaster

Joaquin Phoenix wasted no time in launching his new career as a musician now that he has formally retired from acting. I didn’t know he was so ghetto, so badass, so down with it.

He appeared at the Funkmosphere in Culver City last week where he turned up decked out in some killa rap threads which were light on the bling but heavy on the tude and that boy worked that microphone till his voice was hoarse. His rhymes were killin and the beats were chillin or some shit.

Well actually, put it this way, as a rapper Joaquin Phoenix makes a good actor. It was just one really long monotone on the mic, his wordy rappinghood style was just annoying like some drunk on a karaoke machine that you just can’t get off.

Joaquin, what happened? Your ass used to be so sweet.

If this is your new chosen career you had better get down and dirty cause at the moment you just got shit coming.

Check out the excruciating video footage here. TMZ