Oscar Recap: Razzle Dazzle & All That Jazz

Well we were presented with a new all singing all dancing format for the 81st Oscars on Sunday night that was low on the jokes but high on the dazzle.

But did we love it’s campness?

Well let’s just say Hugh Jackman delivered a spectacular spectacle alright but lacked the sarcastic deliciousness of previous hosts, John Stewart, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg who had the gift of being able to send up the Hollywood community and make us all laugh at home even if the celebs who were at the Kodak Theatre didn’t or couldn’t chuckle due to tightened facial muscles.

To compensate for the fact that a financial crisis is taking place in the States, Hollywood tried to act as if cutting costs for big production numbers at the Oscars would be seen as sympathetic to the economic crisis and amusing to boot by the millions of people watching from home, so makeshift cardboard cut-outs representing the five best picture nominees were used as props to back up Hugh’s all singing/dancing review.

Yeah ok, we the peoples, were mildly amused by this but really it was like watching some seventies musical or possibly the Tony Awards which Hugh Jackman already hosted in a similar fashion.

The crowd was positioned closer to the stage inviting a theatresque, intimate setting where laughter could be heard reverberating around the room and dispelling the tension and intimidation experienced in previous years.

Unfortunately the pleasure of seeing Hollywood squirm as we have at past Oscars was sadly lacking but what we were rewarded with was a night of great speeches by a cross section of people.

Notable mentions of the night:

Hugh Jackman – performed a stellar Cabaret opening number complete with high kicks, thick orange pancake makeup and dried up saliva which seemed to be forming at the corners of his mouth due to nerves or dehydration perhaps?

Tina Fey & Steve Martin – one of the few really funny moments of the night. These two presented the Writers Awards and were just awesome together. Anyone got a script to throw their way?

Penelope Cruz – Won Best Supporting Actress and gave one of the best and real speeches of the night about growing up in a small town in Spain and her dreams of being at the Oscars.

Ben Stiller & Natalie Portman – Ben Stiller’s Joaquin Phoenix impersonation was spot on but not sure if everyone in the Kodak Theatre or watching from home for that matter got it.

Heath Ledger – Unsurprisingly, Heath won for Best Supporting Actor and even though he has been winning every precursor award in this category it was still extremely poignant to see his mother, father and sister come up to the stage to accept his award and give a very dignified speech on his behalf.

Kate Winslet – Finally won for Best Actress after being nominated several times. Looking breathtaking in her two toned YSL blue and black gown, her speech was much better than her over the top sermon she delivered for her win at the Golden Globes.

Sean Penn – Sean upstaged Mickey Rourke with his Best Actor win but gave a brilliant speech starting with "You commie, homo-loving sons of guns. I did not expect this, and I want it to be very clear that I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me often."

Danny Boyle – Our favourite of the night, Boyle’s speech was gracious and honest – a truly genuine guy.

But the best for last, the most noteworthy moment of the night though has to be the Brangelina vs Aniston debacle. As Jennifer Aniston took to the stage with Jack Black to present the Animation awards, the Oscar producers couldn’t resist a sneaky cut to Angelina Jolie to gauge her reaction.

But Jolie being the smart lady she was and noticing the camera lens pointing her way, had already arranged her features with a warm expression, smiling widely up at Aniston when the cameras panned her way as if what Aniston was saying was just so great and funny and if they were all going to invite each other over for a cup of tea real soon.

Ah Hollywood, don’t you just love em.

Sean Penn - Pissed At Gold Digger Actors

Don’t get in Sean Penn’s way. He’s pissed and rightly so.

Not at us hard workers, mind you, just his fellow gluttonous actors who feel the need to prop up their already sizeable film salaries by doing endorsements with high paying clients who want their beautifully transfixed faces to sell their products.

Yes it is nauseating. Don’t these people have enough already? No they are insatiable money grabbing whores who don’t feel that a $40 million income per year is enough to maintain the lifestyle that they desire.

In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Sean indirectly calls out one actress by her endorsement deal, stopping short of naming the person in question but clearly wanting to.

He said, “People are spending too much time modelling for some f**king clothing company instead of acting, and I resent it. It’s like, ‘Are you going to do the Chanel ad today? I thought you were in the middle of shooting a f**king movie.”

“Just let me know if you mean it. I want to know you’re trying to write the great American novel every time. Fail all you want, but f**king try.”

Is Sean making an oblique reference to Nicole Kidman? Come on, we all know Sean Penn worked with Kidman in “The Interpreter” and around that time she became the face of Chanel.

The guy is absolutely furious and rightly so. Are we to surmise that Ms Kidman was cutting days of filming during “The Interpreter” so that she could shoot her $3.7 million salaried, 30 second commercial she was producing with Baz Luhrmann, for Chanel? A shoot that, let’s face it, she is more capable of being good at. Beautiful dresses, flawless makeup, expensive scent and a photoshopped face, what more could a girl ask for?

But ofcourse we can only speculate.

It appears there are two types of actors in Hollywood. One are actors like Penn, who are utterly dedicated to create something that they have given their heart and soul to, and another are movie stars who happily pimp out their asses to the highest paying bidder by endorsing whatever product they have going, if it happens to be high end, all the better.

It’s a good thing Penn is trying to shame actors into taking their day job seriously. But is it a lost cause? We are talking about Hollywood here, a place which breeds of its own hype, where the very wealthiest stars are not only accepted but also respected and admired.

Good luck trying Sean.