The Cruises Bring Robot Glamour To Japan

The Cruises. They’re strange aren’t they or is that stating the bleeding obvious.

They look shiny perfect and expensive, and no hair is ever out of place, yet there is something peculiar & odd about them. Particularly Tom.

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise touched down at Narita airport in Japan on Sunday and as expected, hordes of fans were waiting for their arrival. Tom is still flogging “Valkyrie” to the peoples and he dragged Katie and Suri along to ensure maximum publicity for his movie.

Katie is apparently taking a break from filming her current movie, “The Extra Man,” or did Tom organise her "break" so that she could accompany him?

Even after the long flight, the Cruises had their white toothy smiles in place, actually just Tom did, Katie wasn’t willing to go that far to help his cause. She had the look of someone who couldn’t wait to get to her hotel room and have a long nap.

Their clothes were beautiful and Suri as always, was dressed ridiculously for a child who has just been on a flight – in a bright red dress with a tiny white cardigan. Hardly practical clothes for a kid.

The Cruises should take a page out of Brangelina’s book who arrived at the same airport with the children dressed sensibly for the flight a month ago. But then maybe only Brangelina can get away with dressing normally, they would still cause a riot no matter where they travelled to and what they wore.

The Cruises on the other hand need to ensure they stand out for maximum impact and press coverage, after all there’s a movie to be promoted and god forbid that they should be ignored.

Tom is Slimmer, Tighter, Firmer Than Ever Before

Geez, what a difference a few months make.

As recently as June, Tom Cruise was spotted out and about shakin’ those meaty jowls and stacked pounds on that beef cakey frame of his. However, in just a short time, we are witness to a leaner as well as a tighter Tom too and no I don’t just mean his ass. His face is tauter than not only his ex wife, Nicole Kidman’s but even the face he had in “Risky Business.”

Just what the hell is going on? I don’t recognise him.

His Cheshire grin looks more sleazy than cheesy.

Clearly there had been a comprehensive rejuvenation program scheduled into Tom’s diary from June of this year to allow ample time for the modifications to be finalised before promotion of “Valkyrie” his latest movie, started in early December.

The six month course would have included some fat draining, stomach stapling, face tightening, then onto Rodeo Drive for a spot of gay wardrobe shopping and Voila – Hello Gorgeous!

Tom’s no longer the tough jock guy; he’s the new age sensitive guy.

Goodbye “Top Gun.” Hello “Cocktail” and pass that man bag whilst you’re at it.

Nicole Kidman “Overbonds” with Sunday Rose

By her own admission, Nicole Kidman has declared to the world (whilst her movie, Australia, was sinking fast) that she has "over bonded" with her daughter, Sunday Roast.

I’m finding it hard to comprehend Kidman’s definition of the word “over bonded”. What could she possibly mean by it?

She has constantly left her newborn child to attend premieres for her movie “Australia” around the world and started filming upcoming movie “Nine” in a ludicrously short time, just six weeks after she gave birth to Sunday Roast in early July, so really fail to understand exactly what she means by this term.

Apparently, again by her own declaration, her family are concerned by her obsessive behaviour.

"I'm totally devoted to her," she told UK newspaper The Independent.

"Mum says I'm over-bonded with her, but I don't care."

I wonder if she over bonded with her other two children, Isabella, 15 and Connor, 13, who she adopted with ex-husband Tom Cruise because during the course of her marriage to Cruise she was rarely ever seen photographed with them and now she rarely ever seems to mention them.

Here's Nicole bringing out Sunday Roast as her movie slides further downhill. I guess her "overbonding" with child doesnt extend itself to using a car seat or a seat belt for that matter because that wouldnt bring in the money shot, right?

Yes there is definitely some "over bonding" taking place, but it's not between Nicole Kidman and Sunday Roast, oh no, her over bonding is with the paparazzi.

Nicole Kidman Brings Australia And New Boobs to Spain

Nicole Kidman continues with her road trip, taking “Australia” to Europe where she and everyone involved are hoping it will sell a few tickets.

At the premiere in Spain, we were privy to the spectacle of Nicole’s boobs, opting as she did, to wear a white bra under a black dress. Does this woman need to constantly court any and every sort of publicity to sell her film?

It’s interesting to note the evolution of Ms Kidman’s body over the last ten or so years. At the “Eyes Wide Shut” premiere in July 1999 for example, Nicole’s face and body were vastly different. To be brutally frank, she didn’t have breasts but was the owner of a rather boyish frame. She also didn't have the set of lips she has today.

Then again Tom Cruise looks quite different today to the way he looks in the image above. Actually he looks a lot younger today.

Nicole has been carefully shaping her face and body over the last decade and won’t stop til she gets to her final goal – Dolly Parton.

When All PR Options Are Exhausted, Bring Out The Baby

Yeah that’s right, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Things aren’t looking too good for Nicole Kidman. Her movie “Australia” is not delivering in the States, she can’t remember which lie sound byte she used at the last press call, she’s getting a lot of negative press from everywhere including this one so now it’s time.

It’s time to get Sunday Rose out to do her job.

It may seem like an early career start for Sunday Beef Roast, but there’s an economic crisis going down and she needs to pull her weight and earn her salary.

Nicole has seen how brilliantly ex hubby Tom Cruise, has exploited Suri to keep him in the press and soften his cuckoo image and Suri has delivered in spades.

Sunday Rose could do that for Nicole.

But the question needs to be asked, why are they strolling with the kid in her arms when they have a perfectly good driver they could use? Come on, celebrities don’t stroll anywhere. Why isn’t the baby in a stroller, wouldnt that be easier for both parent and child?

It all points to a massive ruse. You decide.

Parting shot – Love the way Keith never gets to hold Sunday Rose. That honour goes strictly to Nicole. Sometimes he is seen tentatively touching a baby toe or a finger – but that’s all he’s allowed. It’s Nicole’s moment, deal with it.

Nicole Kidman Gives Birth to Sunday Roast on a Monday

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have become the proud parents of a baby girl, whom they have inexplicably named, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban.

The baby was born Monday morning in Nashville, People magazine confirmed.

Husband Keith was by Nicole's side, and mother and baby are very well," said spokesman Paul Freundlich, who added that the couple were "delighted" to make the announcement. He also said the baby girl weighed 6 lbs., 7.5 oz.

Kidman has two other children with her ex husband, Tom Cruise, Isabella 15 and Connor 13.

Only the previous Saturday, Keith Urban declared at a concert to 50,000 fans in Nashville (which Nicole also attended) that his wife was, very, very, very, very, very pregnant, so we knew that someone was going to pop soon.

In the weeks leading up to the birth, Kidman and Urban’s routine didn’t vary with regular early morning stops to Starbucks for coffee and Nicole attending her habitual spin and yoga classes which she curiously continued to go to throughout her entire pregnancy.

Getting ready for the baby had been a priority for the couple, even though when Urban turned up at a local radio station on June 24 and was quizzed about whether they were taking Lamaze classes, he seemed to know nothing about it and denied ever having taken them.

Luckily Nicole was listening and dialed the radio station to clear things up and tell the listening audience that "He doesn't know the name (of the classes), but he has been very good at it!" Kidman said. Oh glad you were listening Nicole and you straightened that out, because fancy Keith not even remembering he had taken classes in the first place.

Even though the couple announced they wouldnt publish images of their baby, it's only a matter of time.

We look forward to seeing Sunday Rose shortly.