Oscar Recap: Razzle Dazzle & All That Jazz

Well we were presented with a new all singing all dancing format for the 81st Oscars on Sunday night that was low on the jokes but high on the dazzle.

But did we love it’s campness?

Well let’s just say Hugh Jackman delivered a spectacular spectacle alright but lacked the sarcastic deliciousness of previous hosts, John Stewart, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg who had the gift of being able to send up the Hollywood community and make us all laugh at home even if the celebs who were at the Kodak Theatre didn’t or couldn’t chuckle due to tightened facial muscles.

To compensate for the fact that a financial crisis is taking place in the States, Hollywood tried to act as if cutting costs for big production numbers at the Oscars would be seen as sympathetic to the economic crisis and amusing to boot by the millions of people watching from home, so makeshift cardboard cut-outs representing the five best picture nominees were used as props to back up Hugh’s all singing/dancing review.

Yeah ok, we the peoples, were mildly amused by this but really it was like watching some seventies musical or possibly the Tony Awards which Hugh Jackman already hosted in a similar fashion.

The crowd was positioned closer to the stage inviting a theatresque, intimate setting where laughter could be heard reverberating around the room and dispelling the tension and intimidation experienced in previous years.

Unfortunately the pleasure of seeing Hollywood squirm as we have at past Oscars was sadly lacking but what we were rewarded with was a night of great speeches by a cross section of people.

Notable mentions of the night:

Hugh Jackman – performed a stellar Cabaret opening number complete with high kicks, thick orange pancake makeup and dried up saliva which seemed to be forming at the corners of his mouth due to nerves or dehydration perhaps?

Tina Fey & Steve Martin – one of the few really funny moments of the night. These two presented the Writers Awards and were just awesome together. Anyone got a script to throw their way?

Penelope Cruz – Won Best Supporting Actress and gave one of the best and real speeches of the night about growing up in a small town in Spain and her dreams of being at the Oscars.

Ben Stiller & Natalie Portman – Ben Stiller’s Joaquin Phoenix impersonation was spot on but not sure if everyone in the Kodak Theatre or watching from home for that matter got it.

Heath Ledger – Unsurprisingly, Heath won for Best Supporting Actor and even though he has been winning every precursor award in this category it was still extremely poignant to see his mother, father and sister come up to the stage to accept his award and give a very dignified speech on his behalf.

Kate Winslet – Finally won for Best Actress after being nominated several times. Looking breathtaking in her two toned YSL blue and black gown, her speech was much better than her over the top sermon she delivered for her win at the Golden Globes.

Sean Penn – Sean upstaged Mickey Rourke with his Best Actor win but gave a brilliant speech starting with "You commie, homo-loving sons of guns. I did not expect this, and I want it to be very clear that I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me often."

Danny Boyle – Our favourite of the night, Boyle’s speech was gracious and honest – a truly genuine guy.

But the best for last, the most noteworthy moment of the night though has to be the Brangelina vs Aniston debacle. As Jennifer Aniston took to the stage with Jack Black to present the Animation awards, the Oscar producers couldn’t resist a sneaky cut to Angelina Jolie to gauge her reaction.

But Jolie being the smart lady she was and noticing the camera lens pointing her way, had already arranged her features with a warm expression, smiling widely up at Aniston when the cameras panned her way as if what Aniston was saying was just so great and funny and if they were all going to invite each other over for a cup of tea real soon.

Ah Hollywood, don’t you just love em.

Glamour Makes A Comeback At The Golden Globes

The 66th Annual Golden Globes were back last Sunday night after a respite due to the Writes Strike last year and nobody was happier to see its return than Hollywood’s premium A-listers.

The event gave celebrities something to do whilst sitting around waiting for a role to come their way. An extensive preparation phase was required before being able to attend the Globes which involved getting their faces freshly botoxed, bodies pummelled, massaged and drained of fat, the choosing of an outfit to wear to the event and selecting the accompanying bling to ensure they glittered like a mirror ball.

This could take several weeks if not months to organise, but it kept them busy and purposeful and they threw themselves into the task with gusto. Ultimately, their face, body, outfit and accessories needed to be perfection personified to enable them to feel confident parading like peacocks on the red carpet as well as hobnob with various directors for that possible upcoming role at the after parties.

This year’s red carpet brought in a respectable amount of glamour but in a sophisticated and stylish way with few daring to be different. A predominance of grey and neutral tones abounded which were classy if not a tad lacklustre. Some highlights both good and bad included the following:

Eva Mendes – Definitely a stand out in her white Dior silk taffeta gown. Her turquoise diamond necklace from Van Cleef and Arpels complemented her skin tone perfectly.

Drew Barrymore – Her Galliano for Dior dress was a gorgeous shade of blue-grey but mismatched with her bouffant hair which made her look so young and girly as if she had just walked of the set of E.T.

Eva Longoria – Back on form after a number of fashion mishaps in a stunning, curvaceous red Reem Acra dress. One of only a handful of celebrities who dared to wear traffic stopping red.

Cameron Diaz – Her hot pink one shoulder draped Chanel gown was absolutely divine with her golden tan and a real standout amongst the neutrals but maybe she could have retouched her roots. Her hair colour looked a little mousey on top.

Kate Winslet – Elegant & old school glam in black strapless Yves Saint Laurent if not just a bit boring. However, her gushing double acceptance speeches for two acting awards ensured she was anything but dull.

J-Lo – Resurrected her bootylicious self in a revealing, gold Marchesa number but the plunging neckline was reminiscent of a previous Versace gown she wore to the 2000 Grammys – been there done that, time to reinvent yourself Jen.

Renee Zellweger – Somebody’s going to get sacked over this one. Zellweger looked as if she had turned up to the event straight from the set of some Victorian epic she was shooting. Wrong on a number of levels, with her spiral curls, see through blouse over a nude bustier and fishtail skirt, the look was completed with Renee’s nutty facial expression which made people wonder how many pills she’d taken.

Brangelina – Cool as a cucumber, this couple can do no wrong even when they snub reporters on the red carpet. Brad Pitt is a god, but is Angelina Jolie’s relaxed glamour getting just a bit tedious? Her subdued metallic Versace gown with thigh high split was beautifully elegant and understated but will she ever wear a bright colour again?

Jeremy Piven – It’s nice to see Jeremy making a comeback after his bout of mercury poisoning – such dedication to the cause.

No Sign of World Economic Crisis At Golden Globes

The Golden Globes were back this year after the Writers Strike of 2008 forced its cancellation. Hollywood breathed a collective sigh of relief that they could go back to the heady glamour and abundant excess that they were used to.

Humungous bottles of Moet champagne filled the tables, goody bags overflowed with cars and houses, countless lavish after parties were attended and everyone knew that life was sweet once again.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association spared no expense in feting and fawning over the actors, actresses, producers, directors and writers who attended the glamorous spectacle at The Beverly Hilton because let’s face it they truly deserved it and the Hollywood Foreign Press who remain faceless and nameless are just glorified (and rich) fans of their idols.

Goody bags were provided as a thank you to each of the presenters for managing to mumble a minutes worth of speech and due to the fact that they only receive the minimum union payment for services rendered. This may not seem much for their efforts but it all counts to the usual 20 – 100 million celebrities earn for each movie they make.

The goody bags contained such items as flights, jewellery, designer clothes, watches, ipods and iphones and even though every one of those presenters could afford to buy these items themselves if not several of each, they all clamoured to get one just like the way people clamour to get the red spot specials at Kmart. That said, the difference this year was that a hefty tax was being put on the goody bags which presenters would be up for, no doubt a harrowing experience they would have to endure.

As the show began and dinner was served, actor after actor strode onto the space age stage to either present an award or accept one, all the while hurling superlatives about how good they were at what they did whilst the attentive crowd nodded their heads gravely as if what was being said on stage was somehow important and life changing.

Highlights & Lowlights

Slumdog Millionaire – Superb movie and fantastic to see it win all the awards it was up for especially for a film with an unknown cast.

Tina Fey – Very funny and totally deserving for her excellent work on 30 Rock. Hilarious speech too.

Kate Winslet – Went a little overboard with the deep breathing and the gushing over Leonardo DiCaprio during her acceptance speech but she seemed heartfelt enough.

Heath Ledger - The real genuine moment on the show was Heath Ledger’s win for Best Supporting Actor which earned a standing ovation by the crowd. Everyone seemed to be backing him and it was sad that he wasn’t there to accept his award for a superb performance.

Mickey Rourke – Once a gorgeous man, now his face is puffed and botoxed beyond recognition. That said his speech for Best Actor in A Drama was gutsy and real if not a bit boozy.

Sasha Baron Cohen – Irreverent as usual but the only person to reference the recession managed to shock Hollywood with his comments saying "This recession is affecting everyone, even celebrities. Victoria Beckham hasn't eaten for three weeks. Charlie Sheen has been forced to have sex without paying for it. It's true. And even Madonna has had to get rid of one of her personal assistants. Our thoughts go out to you Guy Ritchie." Super funny but naturally Hollywood was offended – perhaps they didn’t laugh because they didn’t know there was a recession.

Ricky Gervais – Continues to have a laugh at the expense of Hollywood – awesome.

The show finally wrapped up after much back slapping and air kissing and with no suggestion that the world financial crisis had affected these people in any way, they partied into the wee hours of the morning secure that the world (Hollywood) continued to be a beautiful place.

Kate Winslet – One Hot Mamma on the Red Carpet

All of Hollywood are coming out en masse of late to promote their upcoming movies and ensure they are seen around town enough to elicit any possible inclusion in the Oscar nomination list.

Monday night was no exception bringing out the likes of Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio to the Mann Village theatre at Westwood, California to premiere their movie “Revolutionary Road.”

We have to say, Kate is looking pretty damn fine of late. It’s an amazing renovation – coming over all blonde bombshell. Her stylist has also done a spectacular job with her dress, even advising how to stand in every shot. If Kate hasn’t had any work done – it’s astounding.

Kate has been one of the key advocates for growing old gracefully, even going out on a limb to discredit magazines that have photoshoped her looks for previous cover shots, but really there’s no place for that outdated attitude in Hollywood.

Anyone, actually let’s face it, everyone, has had work done, even though they go out on a limb to deny it and proclaim to have the same eyes, lips, noses and chins that god gave them when they arrived into this world.

They all do it. If you go to Hollywood, not one person is over the age of forty, facially speaking.

Leo is also looking hot and methinks by the time he is fifty and discarded his last bit of babyface, he’s going to be on fire.