Paris Hilton: I'm Not A Slut, I Was Just Acting

Paris Hilton is hurtin. She’s sick of the shit the world is throwing her way. She wants everyone to back off and stop calling her shallow, cheap and other undesirable names.

Apparently the scantily clad Paris you’ve seen dancing on table tops and posted on every celebrity website and blog including this one, is all an act. It’s a brand, a pose that Paris insists must be played so she can bring in the cold hard cash. And y’all fell for it too.

There you were thinking she was just a low ho when in fact calculating Paris has been keeping her eye on the prize. After all the Hilton Hotel chain is looking a bit shabby of late and there’s always the possibility the heiress won’t collect as much as was initially expected when the time comes to hand over that cheque.

Whilst filming her upcoming MTV series, aptly titled, "Paris, Not France", Paris appeared momentarily concerned about her public image. "In a way, (the persona) is good, but I also don’t want people thinking of me as this blond heiress… airhead," she says. "But that is kind of my brand. I make a lot of money by doing that."

The 28-year-old socialite also revealed she was worried about misconceptions placed upon her from her infamous sex tape, adding that people perceive her "thinking I’m a slut and thinking I’m something that I’m not".

Paris went on to explain that the makers of the documentary added in footage from 1 Night In Paris without her knowledge. "I didn’t know the sex tape was going to be in it," she says. "It’s very tough… I can’t believe they kept that part in there. I thought they kept that part out."

Paris’s brow furrowed for a second whilst she mused over the situation. She then yelled toodles, reapplied her lipgloss and ran off in a dream like state to meet her sister, Nicky for a round of much needed retail therapy. It would ease the pain of what she was feeling and she did very much need another Blackberry to go with the other twelve models she had at home.

Nicole Richie - Babymama Once More

Nicole Richie 27, and boyfriend Joel Madden 29, have announced they are in the baby way again.

Madden posted a message on his band, Good Charlotte’s website announcing the news, saying,

“What's better than winning an Oscar? I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope you're all feeling as good as I am right now."

Nicole and Joel already have a baby girl, 13 month old cutie, Harlow who arrived into the world just a little over a year ago on January 11.

Since that time, Richie, former wildchild, daughter of Lionel Ritchie and ex bestie of Paris Hilton seems to have grown up and found her motherly feet. She has credited Harlow for her transformation saying “Obviously, the birth of my daughter is the best thing ever. She gives life a whole new meaning.”

We wish this too cute couple many hoorahs for their fabulous news.

Is Jennifer Aniston Playing John Mayer Out?

If the answer's yes, then it would serve the douchebag right for his previous misdemeanours to womanhood.

It seems that Jennifer Aniston was spotted sneakily creeping out the back door of Chateau Marmont last week, (hangout of more obvious bad girl types; Lyndsay Lohan, Sienna Miller and Paris Hilton), with a gorgeous man in tow, who was holding Ms Aniston tightly as if his life depended on it and helping her to navigate through the horde of spying nosey bodies who were openly gawking at the pair.

By all accounts her hot companion was way better looking and better behaved than Mayer. Witnesses described him as “taller, darker and handsomer,” and he appeared a lot more protective, shielding Aniston from the pushy peeps as they made their way to the safety of their awaiting limo.

For Aniston’s part, the same witnesses said she was looking "absolutely radiant and ravishing”.

Is Jen playing John Mayer out or is she just ensuring that he proposes to her on her upcoming 40th birthday?

Let's see how this saga pans out as 2009 progresses.

Paris Hilton Saves Australian Economy With Mega Shopping Spree

Hoorah for Paris!

The heiress and lovable airhead has singlehandedly rescued Australia from an economic crisis after spending up big on a shopping spree in Melbourne yesterday.

Financial experts are placing high hopes on Ms Hilton, contemplating just how much the socialite will spend in her remaining days in the country and speculating on the financial return her visit could net.

Paris jetted into Melbourne yesterday morning with her sister Nicky and new bestie Brittany Flickinger for some much needed rest, recuperation, recovery and retail damage.

In addition, Hilton will be making an appearance at the Bongo Virus New Years Eve party in Sydney of which she will reportedly be paid the handsome amount of $100,000. Chicken feed really – Paris probably uses that on her weekly French Manicure bill.

Paris & posse rested briefly at the Como Hotel, pausing for a quick cosmopolitan and a touch up before attacking the posh strip of South Yarra shops with gusto.

Store owners closed their shops to accommodate Ms Hilton & her entourage’s wishes. All the while the media throng and onlookers pasted their faces to the shop windows looking longingly in on the exhibits in the zoo and hoping for a bone to be thrown their way. But the the stick figure was oblivious to their stares and shopped with abandon leaving no stone unturned and store displays in dissaray.

A forty minute shopping bender cost Hilton a cool $5,000 for 30 dresses and put a smile on retailers’ faces. They hadn’t seen that kind of spending since the glory days of the 80’s.

Whilst most of the public have been prudently counting their pennies and cutting back on gifts during the Christmas season, perhaps opting for the packet of ham slices over the leg of ham this year, Paris showed all that the Hilton fortune was rock solid.

Clearly the recent robbery at the Hilton residence in LA only a week or so ago where approximately $2million worth of jewellery was stolen didn’t cause Ms Hilton any concern about the lessening of her fortune and the sadness of that loss propelled her to continue with her retail therapy as a means of healing the pain.

Hilton flies into Sydney today to prepare for her attendance at the Bongo Virus NYE party as well as to allow time to choose which of the thirty dresses gets the opportunity to be worn to the event.